In the past two months, I have had six people ask me if I have a boyfriend and if I’m in a relationship. When I said ‘no’, one person even asked me ‘why not?’. And of course, the question of ‘How do you cope with being single while all your peers are in relationships and/or getting married?’ always pops up in there somewhere too.
I know that I’m not the only girl who has been asked these questions. And I wanted to address this topic on here so people will (LORD-willing) be able to relate and be encouraged.
Being joyfully single is all about acceptance. When you accept God’s will for your life and not fight against where He has you planted in the here and now, you will begin to find joy in the little, everyday blessings. When you surrender to God’s plan, you are telling Him ‘God, I trust You and whatever You have planned for me. I’m laying my life at Your feet.’ He knows the desires of your heart. But what if your desires don’t align with His will? Simple. He won’t let them happen because He is the one Who knows what’s best for you.
News flash! You can’t foresee the future, thus you have no control over it, thus wouldn’t it just be better to hand the pen of your story to the One who does?
I’ve learned that in the times we want something the most, it’s almost always when we need only Jesus. Until we get past that point (which will have ups and downs), we just keep growing and waiting on Him. When we finally come to the moment of surrender, that is usually when amazing things start happening. But even if blessings don’t start raining down on us, we are joyful in whatever state we are in because we are content in Christ and content in His plan for us. When I reached the point of realizing that Jesus is all I needed, it really didn’t matter if I got what I wanted or not. Because I am happy enough just knowing my Savior and having a personal, intimate and romantic relationship with Him.
I’m hopeful for the future. But I’m hopeful not in what I want, but in God’s plan. I’m hopeful because I know that whatever He has planned for me is JUST what I need - whether that means being single or getting married, my life is His and always will be. My relationship with God shouldn’t change once a man comes into my life. If it does change, it should be for the better because through my relationship with a man, it should point me and push me closer to Christ.
A lot of people have the wrong idea for WHY they want a relationship. Do they want fulfillment? Do they want purpose? Do they want a new direction in life? Well, you can find all that. In Christ. A man or a woman isn’t going to make life easier for you. Or a complete romantic bliss. Right now, as a single, God has something He wants you to do. Things you could never do if you were married. Things He knows you need to learn before being ready for marriage. No matter how long you are single (which may even be till you die), you are accomplishing the most when you are following His plan. The longer we fight against His desires for us and try to do our own thing, the more we’re wasting precious time to be investing and cooperating with what He wants us to do. We need to be trusting in God no matter what. Taking up our crosses daily to follow Him, no matter where He leads. There comes our word of the day again: acceptance. Our whole purpose is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. The only way we can do that is by accepting His will for us and letting Him work in and through us.
‘God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.’
- John Piper
For some of us, He will be most glorified while we’re single. Singleness is a gift. We are able to accomplish SO much for Him because we aren’t committed or tied down (I don’t mean that in any sort of negative way!) to someone, to marriage, to family. Our time as singles should be used wisely. It’s a gift. And when we accept it as such, God can use our willingness to accomplish great things.
'But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.'
- 1 Timothy 6:6
'For everything created by God is good and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude, for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.'
- 1 Timothy 4:4
'But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the LORD, how he may please the LORD but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the LORD, that she may be holy both in body and spirit, but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.'
- 1 Corinthians 8:32-34