First of all, you’re not in sin if you have a crush on a guy. Just wanted to clarify that, right off the top. God created men and women to be attracted to each other – goodness sake, that’s the first step towards marriage! BUT (and that’s a big ‘but’!), having a crush on a guy CAN be taken too far…it can become lust (we’ll talk about this more in Part 2).
In 1 Timothy 5:1b - 2, Paul exhorts his young friend: ‘…treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.’ This whole verse can apply to men and women alike. Like I said above, God created men and women to be attracted to each other…and He encourages us to find pleasure and attractiveness in the opposite sex. But we must do so in utmost purity.
Now you may be wondering:
‘How do I maintain my purity while having thoughts about a guy?’
Good question! And one that a lot of girls have.
First of all, just because you may think a guy is good-looking or that you think he’s fun to be around – does NOT mean that you have a crush on him. I really want to stress that because…well, I have said that I think certain guys are attractive (in their physical features AND in their personalities) and girls would just FREAK out and say that I ‘liked’ him, ‘had a crush’ on him, etc. Well, I didn’t…and I don’t. Just because you think a guy is cute doesn’t mean you ‘like’ him. (oh, and by the way, just for future reference…if I ever mention in a post that I think a guy is good-looking…don’t accuse me of having a crush on him…thank you ;)
Anyway, back to how to maintain your purity while having thoughts about a guy…
#1 – Ask God to help you maintain your emotional purity. He honors when we try to keep ourselves pure, and He will help us in that process. It isn’t easy! (Ha! I’m sure everyone could relate to that :)
#2 – Remember that it isn’t WRONG to think about a guy…but when you realize that you are a little too often, try memorizing verses and quoting them whenever you start to think of the guy.
#3 – Ask yourself how your future husband would feel if you told him (later in life) that you used to think a lot about this one specific guy. I think he’d be really hurt…don’t you? Guard yourself against having to confess this to your husband.
I’d like to share something with you about my parents…they are so adorable together. :) Well, for example, my Mother would make a casual remark about a guy (actor, friend, etc.) being a nice-looking dude – in front of my Dad. Do you think my dad freaks out? Of course not! He already has his claim on Mama. ;) On the contrary, my Dad would usually say something like ‘Yeah, he is pretty nice-looking’ or ‘No, no. I don’t think so. Do you really?’ And the same goes with Dad. He’ll see a girl that is attractively dressed, has her hair done nice – or whatever! – and remark to Mother that he thinks she’s really pretty. But, people! Just because they find someone of the opposite sex handsome or pretty, doesn’t mean that they LIKE that person. I mean, would it be wrong to say that my brother is good-looking (which he is, by the way ;)...would it mean that I 'liked' him? I mean, seriously!
Anyway…I felt lead to write this post because I got an e-mail from a girl not too long ago, who wanted to know my ‘opinion’ on crushes…because I had made a casual remark about a Christian singer being good-looking. She made it sound like I had a crush on the guy, and honestly, I started to laugh. :) So, my opinion on crushes?
You can’t help but have them…but have them purely.
Keep an eye out for Part 2 of this series.