I have known Collin for...uh...about three years now, I think. Needless to say, he has been such a wonderful guy to get to know. He is an amazing person, but most of all, he has a passion for God. I am really excited to share this interview with y'all. ;) Oh, and if you want to check out Collin's blog, be sure to do that (and follow!)! http://collinmizell.com
Collin Mizell
Age: 18
A few favorite hobbies/pastimes: Blogging, dancing, photography, Fashion design
Favorite subject in school: math
Favorite book: The Bible, all of the Narnia books, Ice Moon.
Favorite movie: Don’t make me pick! Somewhere in the action/thriller
category.
Something you look forward to every day: Growing more mature in God, and travailing.
1. What are your thoughts on modesty?
It’s a must for everyone, not just young women. But don’t overdo it or make it an idol in your life.
It’s a must for everyone, not just young women. But don’t overdo it or make it an idol in your life.
2. Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing?
The existent in which you want to dress up every day is up to your own individual taste’s and likes. But, there is a happy in between. As a young man, seeing a girl my age dressed in something that looks like I could wear, is really not appealing.
The existent in which you want to dress up every day is up to your own individual taste’s and likes. But, there is a happy in between. As a young man, seeing a girl my age dressed in something that looks like I could wear, is really not appealing.
3. How do you feel about girls wearing makeup?
Makeup used right can be an amazing tool! Misused, it could make people put you in a stereo type that you don’t belong in. I personally like it, in tasteful amounts. ;)
Makeup used right can be an amazing tool! Misused, it could make people put you in a stereo type that you don’t belong in. I personally like it, in tasteful amounts. ;)
4. A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty?
Simple and feminine. I can’t think of a single piece of clothing that can make you look as good as being confident in who God made you to be. If you’re happy with how you look, the guys will know and be happy with it too.
Simple and feminine. I can’t think of a single piece of clothing that can make you look as good as being confident in who God made you to be. If you’re happy with how you look, the guys will know and be happy with it too.
5. Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.?
Most of the time, yes! Now if they come out and say something/compliment you on it, it’s a whole ‘nother story ;)
Most of the time, yes! Now if they come out and say something/compliment you on it, it’s a whole ‘nother story ;)
6. What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife?
A woman with strong faith, and who helps me be a better man.
A woman with strong faith, and who helps me be a better man.
7. Do you often feel peer pressure from your friends - in any way, but mostly in the standards that you have set for your life? I am very blessed to have like-minded friends, but yes, I have had peer pressure. If you’ve never felt, or given in to it before…I’d like to talk to you and find out how!
8. What do you consider flirting and what do you think of a girl when she flirts with you?
Ahhumm. To be honest, flirting can be very fun - if it's not taken too far!
Ahhumm. To be honest, flirting can be very fun - if it's not taken too far!
9. How do you feel about dating?
I’d say that it’s a part of Courtship. How else are you to know if you feel this person might be the one for you? By all means stay pure, and feel free to bring friends along on your ‘dates’. But I think dating is a part of a whole, which is Courtship.
I’d say that it’s a part of Courtship. How else are you to know if you feel this person might be the one for you? By all means stay pure, and feel free to bring friends along on your ‘dates’. But I think dating is a part of a whole, which is Courtship.
10. If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife? None, some, or a lot? Please elaborate on your answer.
Parents involvement on the guy’s side of the family - very little. I’m not saying that to let us off the hook. ;) If they’ve raised him right, they shouldn't have much to worry about. If said guy is even thinking about making that choice to get married, he should be mature enough to see who (and who won’t) be a Godly wife. On the girl’s side however, it’s their family’s main goal to make sure the right man gets their daughter’s hand.
Parents involvement on the guy’s side of the family - very little. I’m not saying that to let us off the hook. ;) If they’ve raised him right, they shouldn't have much to worry about. If said guy is even thinking about making that choice to get married, he should be mature enough to see who (and who won’t) be a Godly wife. On the girl’s side however, it’s their family’s main goal to make sure the right man gets their daughter’s hand.
11. When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too? Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her?
Yes, yes, yes! (see above answer ^^) I wouldn’t say as much as in getting to know you, it’s you he would love and have to live with, not your family. The way I think about it is that…in getting to know the girl’s side of the family, you’re also getting to know even more about her as well. And if you’re afraid to show your family the guy you like, think about it. ;) lol But yes, if a guy is at all serious, he should show interest in the girl’s family.
Yes, yes, yes! (see above answer ^^) I wouldn’t say as much as in getting to know you, it’s you he would love and have to live with, not your family. The way I think about it is that…in getting to know the girl’s side of the family, you’re also getting to know even more about her as well. And if you’re afraid to show your family the guy you like, think about it. ;) lol But yes, if a guy is at all serious, he should show interest in the girl’s family.
12. What is your view on college for girls?
Think about all the things we ‘wouldn’t’ have if girls didn't have the chance to go to college/triad school to get skillz! lol It’s not a must, but then again it’s not a must for anyone.
Think about all the things we ‘wouldn’t’ have if girls didn't have the chance to go to college/triad school to get skillz! lol It’s not a must, but then again it’s not a must for anyone.
13. What is your dream job? And why? My dream job would be – a Fashion Architect. To make things better looking, and one day have my own line of clothing! I’ve always been interested in design and fashion… it made sense to stick them together.
14. What do you think the man’s role is in the home – compared to the woman’s?
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Cor 11:3. The man’s role MUST be to provide, love, and all together take care of what God has given him.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Cor 11:3. The man’s role MUST be to provide, love, and all together take care of what God has given him.
15. How many kids would you like to have?
However many God wants us to have. If I could make a suggestion, 5 would be cool. ;)
However many God wants us to have. If I could make a suggestion, 5 would be cool. ;)
16. A lot of guys like using sarcasm around girls…do you know why that is?
I don’t know why we do that. I try my best not to. Some girls ask for it, though. It can be fun with close friends, and that’s who I can be sarcastic with at times. Also, it’s a weird form of being shy for some guys.
I don’t know why we do that. I try my best not to. Some girls ask for it, though. It can be fun with close friends, and that’s who I can be sarcastic with at times. Also, it’s a weird form of being shy for some guys.
More towards the girlie side. Not girlie as in airhead-ish and covered in pink and purple. I’ve never met a guy who says “I want a tomboy for my significant other”.
18. What do you think about guys and girls hugging?
I’m a hugger! If I just met you, you're getting a hug – guys and girls alike. If they want to make it weird, by all means, feel weird!
I’m a hugger! If I just met you, you're getting a hug – guys and girls alike. If they want to make it weird, by all means, feel weird!
19. When do you plan to have your first kiss?
I'd say on my wedding day sounds about right :)
I'd say on my wedding day sounds about right :)
20. How will you respond if God's plan is out of sync with your own?
Assuming I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is God's plan, I'd be okay. He's a way better planner than I am.
Assuming I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is God's plan, I'd be okay. He's a way better planner than I am.
21. Is there anything that you would appreciate girls doing differently in order to help you maintain your purity?
Very good Q. The things that have gotten me into awkward situations is girls asking me point blank, “Do you think I'm pretty?” or telling me how they think they aren’t pretty – in hopes getting a response, such as: “Oh no! You’re beautiful.” If you feel insecure about anything, find a girlfriend to talk it over with. Or your Mother! That’s why God put her there. But, the last thing you want to do (no matter how close you think you are to him) is just go looking for affirmation from your guy friends. That puts him an awkward spot.
Bro, thanks so much for doing this interview!! It was great being able to read over your questions...stay strong for Jesus, dude! You're gonna make some girl a very blessed woman someday...
Very good Q. The things that have gotten me into awkward situations is girls asking me point blank, “Do you think I'm pretty?” or telling me how they think they aren’t pretty – in hopes getting a response, such as: “Oh no! You’re beautiful.” If you feel insecure about anything, find a girlfriend to talk it over with. Or your Mother! That’s why God put her there. But, the last thing you want to do (no matter how close you think you are to him) is just go looking for affirmation from your guy friends. That puts him an awkward spot.
Bro, thanks so much for doing this interview!! It was great being able to read over your questions...stay strong for Jesus, dude! You're gonna make some girl a very blessed woman someday...
23 of your thoughts:
Wonderful interview!! :)
Blessings,
Moriah
Haha, goodness. The answers to these are getting more and more fun to read! But---why should a girl really think about what he says he values/wants/whatever? These posts get reasonable readership, this I'm confident about. I mean, as a guy, I'm reading some of these interviews for kicks! But why should the main(girl) readership of the blog even care what Tyler, Isaac, Collin, think?
This is an honest question, why? It seems to really be more of an emotional feed for you girls to read these, is it? Do you think it's healthy to be focusing on what the guys "want" in a spouse/other?
There are other interviews you could do with guys AND girls that would be beneficial. Find someone that has their life purpose from God figured out and is ready to go! Like..someone who's leaving as a missionary, someone who's a composer/song writer for Christ. There are lots of non-significant other interviews you could do methinks.
Well, those are my thoughts on another interview.
Millard
This was really good! I have to say these answers are very different from the other guys that you interviewed, and I think this one is the most...um...let's use refreshing. It's very interesting what Collin says, about makeup, and clothes, and I think it's really cool for him to have a dream of becoming a Fashion Architect. That's really admirable. Great interview :))
-Jocee <3
I really appreciated this interview.
I liked his comments about the fact that girls can make guy friends (even close ones) feel awkward by asking them if they are pretty or good at something. I also liked the fact that he said he doesn't like it when girls "fish" for compliments by saying that they are ugly.
I think it is a common pattern with a lot of people (girls and guys) to criticize themselves so that they can get a compliment from someone. I believe that a compliment is much more real and flattering when it comes "out of the blue", instead of when you're "fishing" for it.
Good stuff, thank you Raquel for posting this! Keep 'em coming!
This was super fun, thanks for the feedback :) Now, I'm good at some things.... And as you can tell. Spelling isn't one of the :/ lol
Millard -
First of all, please realize that I am not doing this as an 'emotional feed' for us girls. :) I just wanted to give girls an opportunity to pick guys' brains and see what different responses guys would give. As you can see so far, different guys gave different responses. :) Personally, I think it has been a great benefit and encouragement to me (and a lot of other girls) in the way of being able to see what guys think without having to ask them point-blank, face-to-face...and also, I think it helps when the girls don't know these guys personally. :) For me, it wouldn't be that much trouble asking these guys these questions face-to-face, because I know them so well. But other girls don't have such good relationships with their guy friends (for multiple and different reasons), and I just (like I said above) to give girls a chance to see what guys' responses would be.
Also, one of the things that inspired me to begin this interview series was The Modesty Survey that The Rebelution put together. You can check it out at: www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey. I thought that was such an AMAZING idea to do, and decided to take it a step further and include more variety of questions. I hope you'll check that out :)
Blessings,
~Miss Raquel
But my point is, you shouldn't be caring what we think, you should be caring what Christ thinks. What the scripture says--not us.
And on most of these questions, if a guy answered he preferred immodesty, everyone would boo him out of the interview....!
And number 4? The goal should not be attracting young men, but instead in all purity pursuing Christ. It's a cultural goal to pursue and attract young men, not Biblical. And with our Christian slant on it, girls(not all I'd allow) want to know what Christian guys 'like'. It's a fairly *not* subtle way of pointedly asking what attracts them. And that shouldn't be the goal.
Or on 19? Very few guys are dumb enough to answer that poorly. But where is the response of The Apostle Paul? He didn't plan one! His was a life completely set a-part for God!
Overall for most of the questions/answers I do not see it as a real benefit to the readers except to encourage girls thinking about guys more. The answers vary--but only within bounds. So I don't see a varying-ness in the answers to spur on real discussion instead just 'petting' of people types or more realistically, 'ideas' of people.
Most will go something like this:
Yes modesty is important.
Yes I want my first kiss to be at the wedding.
Yes (XYZ) are the ways that girls can help me with my purity.
Any deviation from this is going to start getting the guys hammered on a little bit I think. Even if people are just thinking it.
And the ones about tomboyish or "girlie girl"? Hmm..I'm just not seeing the spiritual upbuilding happening there lol--or why it matters. (See above on goals ;))
But.....Don't worry, I don't intend to 'counter' comment on any more of the posts, so you don't have to worry about that! But really---I do feel this is an emotional pluggin for the girls. And if nothing else, for the guys, well,they aren't really saying anything that hasn't been said before.
In any rate, I ask that the Holy Spirit guide you in these matters, not me. But maybe, just maybe I can be a tool.
Millard
Millard,
I personally don't find anything questionable about the surveys. The questions asked are valid questions. Some are about purity and modesty, attributes that ought to be addressed. Other questions are questions of mere curiosity, such as "what is your dream job." I don't find these questions to be such that they would cause someone to distract or cause someone to stumble.
Raquel, you did a great job in answering the question.
I suppose it's reasonable ettiquett to comment when waiting for your last one to post...
So sure :)
Tyler, they are 'valid' but only when asked from scripture. These "attributes" should not be addressed by young men to young women. It should be the scripture guiding them.
Now the curiosity questions could be good! That is why I like the idea of a *real* interview. Not one centered around what guys think about girls.
The culture pushes the guy girl relationships so hard that having just a friendship is hard--and I think it's things like this that make it harder! It's always looking at yourself in relation to the opposite gender. :(
Millard
This could be/might be/is beneficial in some ways... but I agree with Millard.
Honestly...it's pretty easy for girls to get distracted from what guys tell them. What we want to do is what God tells us. It doesn't matter what guys think.
Millard -
First of all, I think you're taking these interviews to the extreme. Honestly, I think you're just viewing the whole idea wrong. But, I will try to answer your opinions...
I am not saying that what guys say is more important that what Christ says in His Word. That's ridiculous! And, about a guy answering that he 'preferred immodesty', I wouldn't ask him to let me interview him in the first place. All the guys that I have asked to be interviewed are guys that I admire and respect for who they are. They are amazing young men who love the LORD and give their everything to serve Him and keep Him #1 in their lives. These are the kind of men that I want to encourage girls out there, that there ARE still decent young men out there!!
Who said anything about the goal being to attract young men?? You have me puzzled there...
If you think that the benefit for the readers is to 'encourage girls to think about guys more', then I will most definitely have to say that you are taking all of these interviews wrong. You're entitled to your opinion, but that won't stop me from posting these interviews of good, decent, Christian young men who are willing to share with girls a peek into their viewpoint. And, just so you know...these questions aren't from me. They're ALL from girls who sent them in. Even my Mama put in a couple. :)
The Holy Spirit is guiding me. And I wouldn't do these interviews without having the 'go ahead' from Him. I believe that He has been blessing these posts because I see how helpful they have been to young ladies. My Dad and Mama are behind me in this too. They think it is a good idea and they know that my intentions are in the right place.
Blessings,
~Miss Raquel
PS: Thank you, Tyler ;)
Miss Pickwickian -
Well, like I said to Millard, it's not that we are focusing on what guy's think about us, etc. Yes, of course, what matters most is what God says to us and what He thinks about us, and if there are any girls out there reading these interviews for the wrong reasons, that is not my fault. I am doing these interview posts for the blessing and encouragement of young ladies...not the emotional feed. And also, by the way, guys are reading these too :) So far, I've only had one person comment negatively.
Blessings,
~Miss Raquel
Here's just a little bloggity comment from me to you (please don't publish, if you don't mind *wink*)...
It was really strange seeing all of Millard's comments to sort of contradict everything...I don't see why he would feel the need to cut you and us girls (meaning what our thoughts, etc.) down about the guy interviews...
Personally, I think it has been a really good thing, as well as encouraging (as other girls have said, too).
To me, most of the reason it encourages, is because it assures me that there *are* other guys out there that are strong Christians and are willing to commit their lives for Christ (and they aren't afraid to say so, either).
It helps me to remain faithful and true to my beloved, and also makes the wait for my Prince Charming more worth it. :)
I just thought I'd let you know that I'm proud of the way you responded to Millard's comments. Everything in that last comment from you to him was well said, and let your point get across to him, but was still polite and everything (truth be told, it kinda ruffled my feathers a little to read what he said, because it was like he was criticizing you). ;)
I also want to let you know that you are doing a *fantabulous* job with your blog! Your posts are so encouraging. You are a bright light for Christ!
Blessings!
<3 Moriah
That was a fun interview! Just so you know, dear, I think this is a wonderful idea...it has encouraged me alot to hear all this!
One of Collin's answers has me puzzled, though..he said that "flirting can actually be fun sometimes, if not taken to far!"
..What's with that? I must say that I strongly disagree. Flirting is flirting, and to any degree flirting is "taking it too far." There is no way to flirt "mildly." That doesn't make any sense. Casually tossing your attentions upon a young man/woman just for "fun" is not a good idea, and I think that the girls reading this interview who are striving to protect their hearts and have emotional purity are going to get a little confused with that answer..:)
Thank you, Collin, though, for your other answers! You sound like a really fun person. :)
~Lucia
@Crista "Moriah". I'm sorry if you felt I was too blunt or harsh in my statements. If I have offended you I apologize now!
I was not attempting to simply blankly criticize anyone! My goal however was to challenge the thinking happening and promote positive change(From my perspective). *Not* cutting anyone down :((
Millard
~Millard
I'm not offended. :) We just have a difference of opinion about this whole guy interview thing.
I think you have a misconception about what Miss Raquel was trying to accomplish by doing the guy interviews.
If you go to the "From a Guy's Viewpoint...what it's all about" post, she explains that as girls, we're just trying to get a peek into a guy’s life.
For some of us, we don't have a lot of contact with guys as friends or whatever. Or if we do, we probably wouldn't feel comfortable enough to have a "deep" conversation with them and ask them the things that Miss Raquel has asked (which, like she told you, most of them are questions that other blogger girls have asked).
Now, you said that all of this is just “an emotional feed” for most girls. Well, that may be true for some of us. Some girls may choose to dwell too much on a certain guy interviewed. But that is where guarding your heart comes in. As a girl, you have to choose whether or not you are going to let a certain guy come into the territory of your heart. You have to choose whether or not you’re going to let it become “an emotional feed”. This whole interview thing is all in innocence. The main goal is not to make girls stumble in their walk. Miss Raquel is just doing an interview with some close guy friends of hers (as well as including the questions *we* asked). Now, if a girl chooses to take it to another level (as far as thinking about that guy a lot), than that’s her choice. But, I think that’s kind of assuming a lot for you to think that we’re just reading these interviews *just* to get our emotions all stirred up.
You have mentioned that why would we even *care* what a guy thinks. Well, it's interesting to us because like I said, we may not know what a guy is thinking about matters discussed in the interview otherwise.
In a comment you left after Tyler's interview after girls
(I was one of them) said that the interview was encouraging to know that other Christian guys were out there... You mentioned that you were the one that was disappointed that there weren't more of *us* out there. Aren't our blogs evidence enough? I mean, we certainly *aren't* perfect...we are still growing in our walk with Christ. What I mean is that there are many young women out there that are Christians, and willing to commit their lives to Christ just as much as these young men that Miss Raquel interviewed. So, please don't be discouraged about that one. We *are* here (just like you said about that you guys *are* out there).
My second comment in this post was more directed towards Miss Raquel. I did give her permission to publish it. However, I felt the need to explain actually to *you* in this comment. I'm sorry if I was too harsh in what I said in the comment that was for Miss Raquel. But, thank you for the apology saying you were sorry if you were too harsh.
Anyway, I hope that this explains where I’m coming from. :)
Blessings,
Moriah
I understood what Millard was saying, and I don't think he was trying to criticize at all. He was just putting a different perspective on the whole thing, and I appreciated it. I also understand what some of the other girls (and Raquel) are trying to say.
I think it's safe to just put this little bump in the road behind.
: )
I'm so thankful to see Millard apologize to Crista Moriah for having possibly offended her. I commend you for that, Millard. However, your criticisms are clearly out of line, presumptuous, & frankly, a bit confusing!
Not only am I a married adult, but also & MOST importantly, I am the mother of Miss Raquel. I have only found these interviews to be beneficial, edifying, & educational to the young ladies who would like to pick a young man's brain, but don't have the opportunity to do so since it would be quite "forward" of them! This format is completely safe for all parties involved assuming that each person is careful to examine their own hearts. Each of us is responsible for how we use resources such as these.
Millard, you are ABSOLUTELY correct in saying that these young ladies should care more about what Christ thinks/Scripture says, however, by making that statement, aren't you *assuming* that they are more concerned about what these guys think and *not* what Christ thinks? That is an uncalled for judgment! I completely understand your concern where *some* girls could take these interviews to an extreme & use them as an "emotional feed", as you said, but i truly believe they would be a minority here because I know what quality of followers Miss Raquel has on her blog and I think they are well aware of how to guard their hearts against such non-sense.
When Raquel came to me w/ this idea, I thought it was brilliant of her! (I only wish I had been as thoughtful as she is when I was a teenager for my peers). She was extremely careful in choosing the young men she would interview, asking her family if we thought her choices were acceptable & receiving our approval of each one before going ahead w/ the interviews. I knew her motives were pure & she was only thinking of others because she was trying to think of ways to help her readers get answers to questions that they could not otherwise ask in a comfortable, safe environment. The way I see it, young ladies being allowed this rare opportunity to see things from a *godly* guy's point of view only helps solidify & confirm what Christ thinks / Scripture says, therefore, glorifying God in the end!
Blessings,
Mrs. T
http://www.rubyintherough7.blogspot.com/
Interesting! Thanks for the interview, you guys.
Wonderful and encouraging interview. :)I think Collin was very relaxed and straight forward with the whole thing. Some guys when you ask them questions just say "Umm, uhh, well... I don't know". Lol Thanks for sharing!
-Rachel Lynn
I'm so appreciative of this. A truly meaningful post, and what I found particularly lovely was that Collin mentioned modesty, but also stated not to make it an idol. Some girls have a way of getting carried a way with that.
It was interesting to see some views from a guys way of thinking!
I found this conversation so interesting that I decided to comment on it, even though I may be a little late. What I found interesting was the ruffled feathers. Why is it that when we think we are right it bothers us when someone else has a different opinion? Millard's intention was not to "cut" anyone, and his point of view has not been given enough credit. I have very much enjoyed these interviews, and found them to be instructive. And yet Millard's questions pointed to something deeper, and underlying reason why we ladies have enjoyed these interviews. I'm not saying that I agree 100% with every statement that he made, just that he brought up a very, very important point. My own brothers have hinted (not so subtly) at the same thing. And that is this: (in my own words)
We young ladies have an inner drive. It is to be noticed, appreciated, and adored by guys. Good guys, too, not just average joes. And these interviews are like our "keys" to the door, how to get noticed by the good guys we like. And while it takes a lot of honesty to admit that to yourself, and there are a lot of people that don't want to, it is a lot more true than many of the commenters on this post have been willing to admit. I don't want people to read my comment and think that I am bashing the interviews, I'm not. I think that they are great, and can be used to a good purpose. But... Each young lady should examine her own heart as to why she is reading these with such interest.
BTW... Ana Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin have just put out a new book on this same subject. I just ordered it, so I haven't read it yet, but I trust these ladies a LOT. I think I recommend it pretty confidently. And if you haven't read "So Much More", it is one book I would recommend to every single young lady in the world. And believe me, I don't say that lightly.
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