From a Guy's Viewpoint...Nathan R. Evans

I have known Nathan for quite a while now...I was looking forward to interviewing him and reading his answers.  I hope you all will enjoy reading them too! :)

Nathan R. Evans

Age: 14

Occupation: Student/Musician/‘summer-worker’ at Modcott Piano co.

A few favorite hobbies/pastimes: Playing and Making music, Reading.

Favorite subject in school: Music/Math

Favorite book: Notes from the Tilt-a-whirl (N.D.Wilson) and Blink (Ted Dekker)

Favorite movie: Inside Man

Something you look forward to every day: Getting home and having a time to relax after school.

1)    What are your thoughts on modesty? There are a lot of people that make a big deal about modesty. They have a good reason to.  Being modest is really important to how people think of you as a human being. Someone I know said this about modesty: “will I embarrassed if I am wearing this while talking to ______? (Fill in the blank with the name of a responsible adult you know)” This, I think, depicts a large part in how we should think about how we dress. But of course, modesty isn’t just what we wear, or how we wear it, but it also is heavily placed in how we act. We need to be fully conscious of our actions, and think, “is this appropriate?” This should give a good picture of modesty.

2)    Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress.  What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress?  What do you like to see girls wearing? To be completely honest, I honestly don’t really care too much about how girls dress, as long as it’s ‘modest’. Although in giving a small opinion, I see a lot of girls with short jeans, or ratty jeans, and maybe it’s just opinion, but this is something that I personally don’t find attractive.

3)    How do you feel about girls wearing makeup? If wearing makeup makes you feel better about yourself, or how you look, I’m all for it. But really, if you think you look fine without makeup, what’s the point in wearing it?

4)    A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty? Beauty is seen from inside. Outward appearance shouldn’t matter. In looking for beauty, you should look at a personality. In physical appearance though, I have no great preferences.

5)    Do guys ever notice changes in girls?  Hair styles, clothes, etc.? This often depends on who it is that ‘changed’. For example, if a girl that I didn’t personally know very well changed their hair style, I most likely wouldn’t notice. But if the same thing were to take place with a good friend, I would be much more likely to notice, and possibly make a comment.

6)    What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife? One thing I would never want in a woman, is if they wanted me to change my personality for them. If a woman loves me enough to marry me, she should never have to ask me to change. Other than that though, beauty. (Look above.) In looking for my future wife, which probably won’t happen for a few years, I’m most likely going to look to how they act, and what their personality is like. If there’s a personality I find attractive, that’s what I’ll look for. Although, of course, there’s nothing wrong with being pretty ;)

7)    Do you often feel peer pressure from your friends?  In any way, but mostly in the standards that you have set for your life.

There is the occasional “ooh, I should do that!” or “I should like that!” But luckily, those I spend time enough with to feel that don’t ever set off the impression to do something wrong.  I don’t think I have a single friend outside of the faith, which is a great blessing.

8)    What do you consider flirting and what do you think of a girl when she flirts with you? I’m not sure a girl ever has flirted with me, so I’m not sure how much I can elaborate on this answer… Personally, being only 14, I find the position kind of awkward.

9)    How do you feel about dating? Dating should be kept as a tool for a guy and girl to get to know each other better, not a chance to goof off and do whatever.  I know a lot of people who think dating is wrong and should be avoided. But I think dating can be kept proper. If you can keep a date on a steady level, I see no problem with dating.

10)                       If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife?  None, some, or a lot?  Please elaborate on your answer. Certainly I think my parents should be involved with helping me find my future wife, and I would personally appreciate their advice. And speaking as the youngest of 6 brothers (and one brother-in-law), I think siblings would appreciate having their opinion and/or advice to be recognized. But truly, I think the final decision is up to me and God.

11)                       When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too?  Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her?  Absolutely. After all, in marrying the woman, they become your family. Also, as I believe someone else said in their interview, how are you to know a woman without seeing how she acts with her family? I think getting to know a woman’s family is very important.

12)                       What is your view on college for girls? I honestly don’t have any opinions on college, besides for myself. I personally don’t plan on going to college, but if you feel like it’s God’s plan for you to go to college, or if you think it’s the best option, I’m all for it.

13)                       What is your dream job?  And why? My music. I plan to become a full-time musician, set out a few records, possibly tour for a while, then maybe set up a music store. But besides the fact that musicians make loads of money (the famous ones at least), almost everybody I know has told me that God has granted me a gift with music, and He has a plan for me. All I can ask is that that plan includes one of the things I love most.

14)                       What do you think the man’s role is in the home – compared to the woman’s? A man’s role in the home is to bring in the money, put food on the table, and raise his children. The man should be an example to his children, especially his sons. Not only because his sons will need somebody to look up to, but because guys need to feel like they’re being looked up to in order to succeed in their job. And I think the same would go for mothers and their daughters. 

15)                       How many kids would you like to have? I don’t feel like I should get my hopes up to a certain amount of kids I would like to have. That way, two things won’t happen - 1: I can’t be depressed if I end up having 0 kids, and 2: If I wanted to have a set amount of kids, and I had one more, how would that child feel? “My daddy didn’t want me”? No. I think it’s best to leave how many kids you have up to God.

16)                       A lot of guys like using sarcasm around girls…do you know why that is? I’m not sure I’ve seen guys using sarcasm around girls any more than I’ve seen them use it around other guys. I don’t know why that is.

17)                       Do guys like it when girls are tomboyish or more girlie? Definitely girlie. I’ve seen girls trying to acting tomboyish. Rarely is it attractive. Correction: Very rarely is it attractive. Did not God separate man and woman? God never does things without a reason, and knowing what that reason is shouldn’t matter.

18)           Is there anything that you would appreciate girls doing differently in order to help you maintain your purity? I can’t think of anything they do currently that pushes me the other way.

19)           What do you think about guys and girls hugging? Well, if the two are a married or engaged couple, I see no problem whatsoever. On the other hand, if the two are ‘just friends’, I think their ‘hugging’ should be kept to a minimum. Hugging is an obvious display of affection; when done by two who claim to be only friends, there’s going to be a doubt of their honesty.

20)           When do you plan to have your first kiss? Most likely at my wedding, whenever that may be. A first kiss should be something precious; something that you will always remember. If it’s done in a whim, or spur of the moment, how can you savor the moment?

21)           How will you respond if God's plan is out of sync with your own? I’m not quite sure yet. I hope I’ll be able to keep my head, but I don’t know how I’ll respond until I 'must'. I just need to make sure to remember that God does what is good, and His plans never go wrong.

22)           What do you think of girls posting pictures of guys on their blog? If it’s done in an honorable fashion, I’m completely fine with it.

23)           Do you guys sometimes get weirded out by being friends with girls? At first I was, but currently, I have probably as many girl friends as I do guy friends. I was taught well to respect girls, and I never had anything against them (unlike many young ones I see today). I think it depends on the guy you’re asking. Some would say it’s very weird, but I personally don’t mind in the slightest bit.

24)           What is one thing that girls do that you hate? There’s plenty of things that I dislike, but I don’t there is anything to the level of hatred. But truly, anything I see a girl doing that I don’t agree with and/or don’t like, for the most part, any guy is capable of doing the same thing. In trying to look for something that only a girl does, I can’t think of anything in particular.

25)           To what degree should a guy and girl be 'just friends'?

As mentioned above, I think any display of physical contact that implies more (e.g. hugging, holding hands, etc…) is out of bounds if you claim to be ‘just friends’. A lot of people think that if a guy compliments what a girl is wearing, they’ve got to be more than just friends. Ridiculous. I think compliments may imply being good friends, but that shouldn’t imply any more. I’ve complimented girls on more than one occasion, not because I ‘like’ them, but because I felt they needed it at the time; or in order to defend them. So in short:

Excessive Physical Contact = No

Proper Compliments = Yes

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this interview for us, Nathan.  May God bless you and may you continue to grow in His fear and admonition.