Taylor Reavely was the dude that opened up for Caleb and Sol at my concert. I'm so glad he was willing to do this interview. :) Ladies and gents...(yes! another recording artist!)...
Taylor Reavely
Age: 21
Occupation: Student, Worship Leader, Landscape Artist
A few favorite hobbies/pastimes: Cowboy-ing, hiking, playing games, all sports, playing music, eating new foods, drinking coffee, and spending time with people.
Favorite subject in school: Mathematics
Favorite book: Desiring God by John Piper
Favorite movie: The Princess Bride
Something you look forward to every day: Eating, and sleeping again. But really, I look forward to seeing people, getting chances to read. I like looking for adventures; I look forward to pretty much all days.
1) What are your thoughts on modesty?
2) Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing?
I am strongly convinced that we are able to be in the world, without being of it. I believe it is possible to dress like the culture around us, without being a part of the culture around us. This is the way I tend to see most issues. I believe you can err on either side of the ideal: I think you are ridiculous by dressing too sparingly, and I think you are ridiculous by dressing too much.
There ought be no distinction between modesty and “pretty” or “fashionable” or “trendy.” Don’t sacrifice modesty for trend (or vice versa.)
3) How do you feel about girls wearing makeup?
Makeup is great, if in balance. I like the way that makeup highlights a girl’s eyes, cheeks and lips. That is attractive, and I believe it isn’t immodest or forward. Generally, I don’t think makeup is helpful until a girl is in her teen years, but in that period of life, I think it’s good to begin to learn how to use makeup well. (See response to question 2)
4) A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty?
There is a natural beauty that outshines the acquired beauty. I think that a pretty girl uses her smile frequently, and has smile wrinkles around her eyes—and yet is not “chipper” all the time. Eyes are another of the most beautiful features of a woman. I also think that a girl comfortable in her own skin, with tasteful fashion sense is pretty.
5) Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.?
I have four sisters, so I think I do a pretty good job of that! Most guys may notice some change, but not be able to put a finger on it. Some can pinpoint change quickly and exactly. There is no absolute answer on this point, I believe. It depends on the guy, and it depends on the change (both the nature of it, and the amount of it.)
6) What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife?
Of course I look for someone who loves Jesus, has good theology, reads her Bible, is an example in prayer, cooks well, and is intelligent. But there are two things that I find particularly valuable: is she hospitable and is she a sincere encourager? I say hospitable, because I want my home to be a place where people feel loved and welcome, and I know that takes a large toll on the wife, especially if she’s not naturally hospitable. I say sincere encouragement very deliberately, because I hate trite encouragement. One who can find and build up and support things beneath the surface of a man is a rare jewel.
7) Do you often feel peer pressure from your friends? In any way, but mostly in the standards that you have set for your life.
Yes, I do. I aim to surround myself with people who don’t know Jesus, seeking to live the gospel before them and speak the gospel to them when given opportunity. This does, however, complicate other areas of life. I have been asked to do things that I have zero regenerated desire to partake in, and have suffered for refusing. Despite, however, I would strongly caution against living in a “Christian cubicle.” This is a tendency of many to buttress themselves against the “peer pressures” of the world, but I will always tell you: “Be in the world, and yet still, not of it,” not as an excuse for evil, but as a reminder that both are possible.
8) How do you feel about dating?
I think there are two extremes: there is casual dating, and there is courting. Neither is healthy, and I, personally, will participate in neither. Clearly with casual dating, there is no expectation of any commitment. This is not good. And with the courting game, from day 1, there is the expectation of marriage. I have seen courtships broken off, and lives devastated more severely than even a casual dating breakup. So I believe and am aiming for a middle ground. There are things to take from both extremes: for example, I think it is important to have your family’s support and to know the lady’s family; I think it’s important to spend time with her alone, because that will be more “real life” than in group stimulated activities, but it’s also important to see how she interacts with her family; I think it’s important to have some expectation but not to heap up expectation as in a courting relationship.
I am planning to “date.” My recommendation is to be very careful about semantics that have potential to alienate people. My experience has been that “courting” has a “holier-than-thou” effect on outsiders, which I really don’t like. And “dating” has its own carnal connotations in our culture, but particularly in conservative Christianity, and I would rather conservative Christians judge me (for doing no wrong, but simply calling my relationship “dating”) than alienate myself from non-Christians who are watching my life to see Jesus control my actions and desires.
9) If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife? None, some, or a lot? Please elaborate on your answer.
First, I don’t agree with courting terminology or legalism, but I do agree that the family ought to play a key role in a dating relationship. I personally won’t marry a girl without my family’s support, and would expect the same of my girlfriend. My family knows me better than I even know myself, and has an emotionally-detached perspective that is healthy in a very highly emotional decision.
10) When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too? Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her?
It is important to remember you are not marrying the family, you are marrying into the family; you are not marrying the dad, you are marrying the girl. Yet, a person’s family will tell you a lot about that person and what they will be like one day. So I find it very valuable to get to know a girl’s family in addition to getting to know her.
11) What is your view on college for girls?
Go to college, but remember your role in life and particularly, in marriage. Few things are a bigger turnoff to me than a career-driven woman with a lot of school debt. There is much gain to be had at college, though, and there are very practical, helpful skills a woman can learn that will greatly benefit her husband and marriage. I want to marry a woman educated in the things of the world who desires to be a stay at home mother.
12) What is your dream job? And why?
I’d always thought fireman, cowboy, or trucker. But today, I want to be a pastor more than anything else. I love the church, and want to serve it locally and abroad. Ultimately, my desire to be a pastor is due to the Spirit in me, convicting me and guiding me; He has changed my passions.
13) What do you think the man’s role is in the home – compared to the woman’s?
Men are to be the head. Women are to submit. It’s very black and white to me, while the manifestation of those roles is rather gray. I know my responsibility as a husband is to first, be a man, and not a prissy-sissy-boy, and as a man, to love my wife as Christ loved the church. That is sacrificial, unconditional love. Women are to follow the leadership and help that man. Ultimately, we need more good men, before Ephesians 5 and this idea even make sense. But it is a two-person effort; one without the other is destined to fail miserably.
14) How many kids would you like to have?
4 :)
15) A lot of guys like using sarcasm around girls…do you know why that is?
Guys like/try to be funny, and a lot of girls respond well to sarcasm/jest. So, a guy tries it, she laughs, and he keeps it up. Simple enough...
16) Do guys like it when girls are tomboyish or more girlie?
It’s different for all guys, and balance is a huge issue here. A man has a need to protect and provide (for a girlie girl,) and at the same time, few things are harder to get along with than someone super prissy. So find a balance, to where you’re adventurous, but not dominating/commandeering, for that is not a woman’s place in a relationship. This is, I’d imagine, very difficult to change; a lot of it is innate.
17) What do you think about guys and girls hugging?
Hug. All people need affection, and amounts of physical touch, so without sinning, hug.
18) When do you plan to have your first kiss?
September of 2006.
19) How will you respond if God's plan is out of sync with your own?
By grace, through faith, I’ll destroy mine, and obey God.
Taylor, you're an amazing young man! I feel privileged to know you. Keep serving the LORD! May He always direct your path.
