Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Chivalry is NOT Dead...



The other day, a gentleman friend of mine paid me one of the greatest compliments I have ever received.

He said: ‘You deserve recognition [as a lady].  You make me want to be a better gentleman.’

Now right there, were two sides to the story…and both of them were amazing.

To me – I felt like I had accomplished something, in being able to encourage my guy friend to hfeel the need to be a better gentleman.

For him – he felt that his act of chivalry wouldn’t go unnoticed by me because I actually care that men act like gentlemen.

My friend also went on to say how he had read one of my statuses on Facebook, which I had originally gotten from Pinterest:


He said:
‘From that one conversation on your status, I knew that there was some truth to if women act like ladies, men will act like gentlemen.’

And I know exactly what he means.  I have noticed (from my point of view as a girl) that…when I act like a lady (wait for a guy to open a door for me…wait for a guy to notice that I don’t have a seat, etc.) more and more guys are prone to notice and call up their manly, chivalrous skills to assist a damsel in distress. ;)

Sorry, just couldn't resist this ;)
Quoted from a gentleman
  
Some guys are afraid that when they talk about being gentlemen, people may get mad at them for making women sound useless.

(To quote my friend): ‘Women are NOT useless…but they aren’t men.  Men are built by God as the one to take the lead, and to respect the lady.  Plus it’s just plain Christian to be a gentleman.’

I, personally, have gotten a few negative comments from people (mostly women) who freak out that I make it sound like we’re ‘so helpless’ and ‘unable to do things on our own’.  When that is CLEARLY not true!  Women can handle just as much as men…sometimes even more.  Talk about pain?  We give birth to babies, okay?  Seriously.  But when woman are treated with respect as the ‘weaker’ sex (only because God created the men to be LEADERS and PROTECTORS), it makes BOTH people feel good. 

Men – because they feel like they accomplish something when helping a lady. (It touches that inner chord of ‘Gosh, I’m a pretty swell guy’ ;)

Women – because we love to be cherished…and loved…and respected…and ‘handled with care’.

 
My friend, Daniel, wrote a post on his blog called ‘Being a Gentle Man.  I would heartily encourage you to read it!  It was so refreshing to know that there are men who actually notice what their responsibilities are (at least, sometimes).  When my friend and I were talking about gentlemanly acts of service, he said: ‘Men are required to defend.  Especially the honor of a lady – even if that means just giving her your coat to keep her hair dry from the rain.  It’s our unpaid and required job in life, commanded by God.’

So…in closing, I’d just like to encourage the girls reading this that:

Chivalry is NOT dead. 
It still exists. 
Even in small segments, but yet…it still lives.  Let us try to be good examples to our brothers in Christ (and even to non-believing guys) that we love being ladies…and we love it when THEY are gentlemen. 

I asked my brother what one of the biggest things women did that encouraged him to be a gentleman. 
He answered simply: ‘Show gratitude.  Show appreciation.  Show that you want us to treat you like ladies.’ 

And guys…we really, really, really appreciate it when you show us respect and honor.  Even in the smallest acts of service like opening a door for us…or the bigger things, such as helping us make a meal.  Even if you think it goes unnoticed, it really doesn’t.  Please keep chivalry alive.  Because, as everyone knows, this culture is out to tear it down…


It takes a real woman to be a lady.
And a real man to be a gentleman.



23 of your thoughts:

Trinka said...

Oh, this was beautiful! :) Thanks for the reminder that if I want to be treated like a lady and have guys be gentleman... I have to be a lady! :)

Rachel Nicole said...

love.it. <3

Samantha said...

I loved this post, Raquel! I could not agree with you more on this topic. As a rather romantic/old fashioned girl at heart, I sometimes despair when I see the lack of gentleman around me, and wonder if anyone really cares anymore. But after reading this post I know that some guys DO care! This post also encouraged me to let the guys do more, because whether I realize it or not they may be wanting to be gentlemen, but just feel hindered. Thank you for writing about this topic- I know that it will encourage many others besides me. <3

Betsy Martin said...

That was such a great post! I love it when kind gentlemen open doors for me. :)

Jessica said...

One of my favorite lady quotes is "Your dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady." Honestly, I wish I'd been born in the fifties, when this stuff was the standard.

xoxo,
Jessica @ Diary of a Beautiful Soul

Sami said...

I love this Mrs Raquel:)) To me I don't see that much chivalry around, but I am only 16 so what do I know about Gents;). My guys friends don't really act like gentle men around others they mostly act like children and wackos. I am at the most part is trying my absolute best to be a lady for my King:) and this post made me think of how I should do that:)

DJ Wilson said...

This was an amazing post, Raquel! Perfect, simply perfect. You said exactly what has been on my mind, but made it clear and beautiful! I love this post! It truly inspired me. <3

Well done, my friend...well done!

AVBKansas said...

This was a fantastic post!! Very encouraging and a gentle reminder of the things often forgotten. Thank you!!

Kailee said...

I'm gonna send this to all my friends!! This is what I've been tryin to tell em for ages! You write it beautifully!!

Emily said...

I love this post :) It's funny that you posted about this today, because I (kind of) had an experience that has to do with this.

One of my friends (a girl) was at an orchestra practice, and one of our other friends (a guy) was there, too. Everyone else left and my friend was waiting on her mom--the guy stayed with her, though, so she wouldn't have to wait all alone in a strange city. It was such a small thing, but greatly appreciated. When some other friends heard about it though, they didn't understand (they were guys) when I said that being a gentleman was sweet. "Girls don't like gentlemen" they said.

So... I'm really sorry about the long comment, but that was just to let you know that this post reminded me that I need to start being a lady to encourage the guys in my life to be gentlemen :)

samarah said...

fabulous post! I love it! Guys need to know that their small acts of gentlemen-ness will NOT get overlooked. Its not very common for guys to open doors but when that happens to me or I see them do it, i just about go giddy! ;)

again, wonderful post friend!


~Samarah

samarah said...

fabulous post! I love everything you said here! Whenever I see a guy open a door for me or another girl I just about go giddy because its uncommon!

again, beautiful and inspiring post friend!

~Samarah

Talia said...

I loveeee this post {and your new design!}.
Talia
p.s. My friend Melissa said she is emailing you. How cool! She says you are very sweet :). But of course, who doesn't know that right?!!

Me (: said...

Thanks, Raquel! I needed to hear this today. Like, a lot. ♥ :)

-Grace
-thatsmilingblog.blogspot.com

emii. said...

oh i love this post! i just want to save all those picture's..
so i will. :)

Neps said...

This is a great post! I love it especially because it's true that we have our part to keeping chivalry alive. If we start being completely independent and taking our roles as the guys, nobody will want to take care of us. I liked it. I really did. :) Thanks for this

Rachel Hipps said...

Love this post! There was an instance a little while ago where a guy I know helped with something really minor and I was just like "Thanks dude!!" It's the little things that count, I think. :-) and I love it when guys open doors... I find that very gentlemenlyish (new word!). :-)

Leilani said...

Really cute Raquel :) Jacob opens doors for me everywhere we go, and he is always doing little acts of kindness for me that make me feel special <3 People are always surprised that my dad opens doors for my mom even though they've been married a long time, I say BROWNIES POINTS FOR DAD! Dads can also play a huge role in educating young men to be gentlemen. I know not everyone here believes in dating, but every guy that has brought me out on a date has went through the 'dad talk' <3 it. To all the guys out there, being a gentleman really goes a long way!

Marcia said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!! oh, this gives me goosebumps! well said

Amanda said...

This was awesome!! Most of the guys at my school are selfish jerks who only care about bringing attention to themselves. Like today, my friend was trying to go thru the row to get to her seat, and this guy sitting in front of her had his legs sprawled out in the aisle so she had to step over them... i was just like, 'dude, move your stupid legs'!! it just really really ticks me when guys aren't gentlemanly, and it doesn't have to take much to do something simple like moving your legs out of the way, or holding the door... good grief!

anyways, i really appreciated this post!! :)

love,
manda
http://meandjesus-amanda.blogspot.com

Mary said...

CHIVALRY!!!! It makes me flip when someone holds to door open. :):):) Thank you for the post, Raquel! I always laugh when women get mad because they're the 'weaker' gender. SERIOUSLY? I love being a girl. I love being 'weaker'. I love having to hold babies while they go build houses. Lol. :)
Mary

Sierra said...

Late comment...shame on me!
Anyway....I love this post Miss Raquel! I have seen that quote before and I love it...we need to have more and more ladies and gentlemen :) I know I can do a lot of "though" things but I feel flattered if a guy holds the door for me... So I agree... and love all the picture/quotes in this post :) (ninjas...hehehe) Sierra
Keep Growing Beautiful♥ (Cause You Are!)

Bethany said...

Thank you for your post! I stumbled on your blog as I was looking for pictures for my own post on Chivalry.

I am excited to browse your site. :)