From a Guy's Viewpoint...Andrew Cole

 

Andrew Cole

Age: 17
Occupation: Student, looking for a job besides yard work for my neighbors.
A few favorite hobbies/pastimes: I enjoy reading my Bible and writing. I participate very actively in a couple of martial arts, enjoy shooting, archery, practically any form of marksmanship-type-stuff actually. I also play piano. I’m not a complete savage. :)
Favorite subject in school: PE. (That counts, right?)
Favorite book: Apart from the Bible, my favorite book is The Screwtape Letters, by
C.S. Lewis.
Favorite movie: I Am Legend.
Something you look forward to every day: Mostly I look forward to my alone time with God, but I also look forward to eating every day. I’m a teenage boy, I can’t help it.

Modesty:

1. What are your thoughts on modesty? When I see a girl who is dressed modestly, it instantly makes her more attractive because it shows that she has self-control. Not all girls who dress modestly are Godly, but the girls who are Godly dress modestly.

2. Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing? Dress modestly and comfortably. Personally I consider shorts and a tanktop to be just

as modest as snow pants and a winter parka. Cardigans are killer: attractive and modest. A girl can never go wrong wearing Converse...heels are neither necessary nor safe.

3. How do you feel about girls wearing makeup? Not a huge fan, if I’m honest. Girls are pretty enough without it, and too much is a major turn-off.

4. A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty? I concern myself more with who the girl is and how she acts, but speaking strictly on looks, girls are prettier when they smile a lot. As far as stuff like hair length, eye color, etc. that’s just my personal opinion and I’m not
sure that’s what you’re asking for.

5. Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.? We notice a lot of things, but we don’t always mention it because we don’t want to send the wrong messages to girls.

Your Future:

6. What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife? She has to be a Godly woman-has to live for Jesus through and through. It doesn’t matter how pretty or funny or happy she is if she isn’t Godly.

7. To what point would you like your future wife to be in-agreement with your own theology? The way I look at theology, there are closed-handed issues and open-handed issues. Closed-handed issues would include, (but not be limited to,) salvation, (grace v. works,) election, and the sovereignty of God. These are the issues that I won’t back down on. Open-handed issues would be things like baptism, (sprinkling v. pouring v. submersion,) communion, etc. These are the issues where the interpretation of scripture could really go either way. The closed-handed issues make up the core of what mere Christianity is. A girl has to conform to this mere Christianity in order to be a “potential wife”. So if I happen to like submersion baptism, and this hypothetical girl I am interested in likes sprinkling, it wouldn’t stop me from pursuing her. If I found out this same girl has an issue with my doctrine of salvation, (and wasn’t intent on changing her mind,) then that relationship would be a no-go.

8. What do you consider flirting and what do you think of a girl when she flirts with you? I consider flirting to be conveying romantic feelings in a subtle-ish way. As far as what guys think of girls that try to flirt with them, there are basically two different reactions. The first reaction is when the guy doesn’t like the girl, he’ll just ignore the flirtation. If the guy does like the girl, or at least kind of, then he’ll be interested - so if you think a guy likes you at all, don’t flirt with him unless you’re at least close to ready for a relationship.

9. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Kinda-ish-maybe-not really...I don’t know? If that counts as an answer...

10. When do you plan to have your first kiss? “You may now kiss the bride.” I believe that is in the wedding vows for a reason, and I don’t plan on kissing any girls until my wedding day. :)

11. How many children would you like to have? Honestly, I have no idea. I’ll just leave it all up to God.

Dating/Courtship:

12. How do you feel about dating? I don’t like it. In my opinion, courtship is better because it carries with it a more serious connotation and a more realistic environment. If you’re only going out on dates with someone, you’re not in the same type of atmosphere you’d be in were you to get married -You have to see
how the girl reacts in everyday life, not in a restaurant.

13. If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife? None, some, or a lot? Please elaborate on your answer. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” Emphasizing the man leaving his father and mother part, I don’t believe there should be any involvement from my parents. I want them to approve of the girl obviously, but the going out and getting her part is my job. A boy has to become a man before he can marry a woman though, so that
independence factor is already there anyway.

14. When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too? Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her? Of course! They know her better than anyone else, and they’re the people that she has lived with since she was born. If you don’t see how she is with them, how can you know how she’ll be with you and the children you’d (Lord-willing) have with her?

15. How much importance do you place on having the permission/blessing from a girl’s father before marriage? Getting permission is of paramount importance. The father was placed in the girl’s life to protect her, and if you go around that you aren’t going to earn any points with anyone.

Andrew on far right

16. If you like a girl, when should you tell her? And how should you show her? Ideally you shouldn’t tell her until you’ve talked to her dad...but that doesn’t always happen because guys can be stupid sometimes. How you show her really depends on your relationship with the girl already. If I was really comfortable with the girl I’d probably find a playful way to do it. If I was interested in her but didn’t know her feelings toward me, her dad would probably end up talking to her about it. There are other things too...this is really a  case-by-case question.

17. To what degree should a guy and girl just 'be friends'? If you’re not in a relationship, you’re just friends. Treat the guy as such. #simple answer

18. When would you like to settle down and get married? I would like to as soon as I find the girl...but I have to be ready for it first.

Personal Opinions:

19. What is your view on college for girls? I don’t see why they shouldn’t go to be honest...not even sure why that’s an issue for some people.

20. Do guys like it when girls are tomboyish or more girlie? I like it when girls are girly-ish, but not wimps...they should know/learn how to shoot guns! :D

21. What do you think of Christian girls with tattoos and piercings? Not a fan of tattoos or piercings. Earrings and nose-rings are ok, but the rest of it is kind of just unattractive. The more natural a girl is, the more attractive she is.

22. Is there anything that you would appreciate girls doing differently in order to help you maintain your purity? Girls should make abundantly certain that they aren’t sending any messages they can’t/won’t follow through on.

23. What do you think about guys and girls hugging? Sure. I hug girls I’m not interested in and they hug me. Hugging is good.

24. What is one thing that girls do that you hate? Girls can be a little notstraightforward. Although it’s cute most of the time, it does help occasionally when you just say whatever it is that you mean. Guys cannot take hints for anything.

25. What are your thoughts on young women encouraging their guy friends, in the LORD? Do you think that may be accounted as too forward? I receive some of my most encouraging words from young women, but it serves only as a friendship thing. We’re all brothers and sisters in the LORD right? I think if you’re encouraging the guy in the Lord because you like him there is an issue, but if he’s just your friend I say go for it.

26. What is one thing that sums up a true man/gentleman to you? Is he a Godly man? No? Than he is not a man at all. Godliness is what separates men from boys, because all true chivalry flows from being Godly.

27. Do you have any tips on ways girls can be friendly, kind and encouraging without coming across as over-friendly? Talk about your friendships with other guys and compare them to the guy you’re talking to. If it’s just your personality to be friendly to guys and he knows it, he probably won’t consider you “over-friendly”.

28. What are your thoughts on a girl who is NOW waiting, but hadn’t been faithful on keeping her physical/emotional purity in years past? I really don’t care. We are all dead in our sins without Christ. If you have accepted what happened as wrong and asked forgiveness from God, and you’re now keeping a commitment to him, I would consider you just as pure as any other girl. Plus, teenage guys really don’t have a right to talk...even when we’ve kept our physical purity, our emotional purity has probably been compromised and our mental purity has for sure. Guys are wired to be attracted to gals. If a beautiful girl walks by and the guy doesn’t have to struggle with keeping his eyes forward, it doesn’t mean he’s chaste: it means he’s dead. So if you haven’t kept your emotional/ physical purity, be confident in the grace of God through Jesus Christ. If it’s in his will for you to have a husband, you’ll get one and I’m sure he’ll be awesome. If it’s not in his will, what do you need one for? God almighty loves you, and I promise he’s going to beat the socks off of any guy you like down here.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with us, Andrew.  Keep focused on the LORD!